If we have had difficult life experiences we can find ourselves feeling stuck in a cycle of self-criticism and harsh judgment. We might do things like set impossibly high standards for ourselves and criticise ourselves harshly when we can’t meet these impossible goals. Despite our all too human tendency towards this critical inner narrative we aren’t just one thing, we aren’t stuck, and we can find a new way of being and choose self-compassion.
In a life where it may have felt weak or even unsafe to be vulnerable self-compassion might feel like a soft option. Well here is the news – choosing self -compassion might be one of the most difficult and courageous things you can do in this life. Self-compassion is the daily (I will say more about this later) practice of treating ourselves with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, especially in times of difficulty or perceived failure. Self-compassion involves acknowledging our suffering and having the motivation to take action to change this. We can begin by recognising our own humanity and acknowledging that we are imperfect beings, just like everyone else, and learn to embrace ourselves with warmth and empathy.
In my view the fantastic thing about our ‘tricky’ human brain is that. they are wonderfully plastic e.g. we can build new neural connections that take us to a place of calm and compassion rather than our old threat state. Remember those negative thoughts are just part of that old pattern they aren’t the truth about you or a prediction of the future, instead we can choose to practice compassion, at the bus stop , making a cup of tea take a moment today to change the narrative.